Rules the Order of the Phoenix must follow
by Serenabishop97
Summary: Rose is tired of the Order sometimes acting like children, so she writes a rulebook for them and the younger ones involved there as well. Fem!Harry
1. Chapter 1

Ok I am now doing a rule book for Harry Potter. This Fem!Harry again. Enjoy

Chapter 1

Rose walked into the kitchen at Grimmauld Place where everyone was and placed a rather large stack on the table. "Miss. Potter what is this?" Snape asked with a raised eyebrow and looking confused. "Rules. I wrote these to stop certain things from happening again. After Voldemort wrote me a letter about a few things I had to do this." Rose explained.

Sirius looked at it then at his goddaughter. "It's rather large." he stated. "It also includes myself for being pulled into somethings I don't want to happen again, the Weasley kids and Hermione shockingly. Please follow them. And yes you have to read them." Rose said as she left to have a nap from many sleepless nights writing the rules.

Dumbledore picked up the first piece of paper. "Well we may as well start reading." he said.

* * *

Rule #1: No one is to prank Death Eaters

(That includes Malfoy)

(Weasley twins)

(And Bellatrix)

(Sirius)

Rule #2: No one is to call Professor McGonagall 'Minnie'

(Sirius)

(Are you insane?!)

(Wait don't answer that)

Rule #3: Don't take Sirius's bike for a joyride

(Twins)

(And I don't care if he gave you permission)

Rule #4: Calling me Rosie will not end well

(Twins)

(Call me that again and you get it)

Rule #5: Cursing Death Eaters to sing Opera will cause Voldemort to question if you are children

(I did not need to see that)

(I still remember the look Voldemort gave me)

(I had to shrug at why his followers were singing suddenly)

(Please don't do it again)

Rule #6: Handcuffing Snape to Sirius or the other way around is not to happen!

(At all!)

(I like my godfather living thank you)

Rule #7: Stop comparing both sides to the Transformers

(I mean it)

(Yes we share similarities but stop)

Rule #8: Dobby is not my house elf

(He is my friend)

(So don't worry Hermione)

(I freed him so he helps me every so often)

Rule #9: I will not order a Basilisk to kill Voldemort

(He can speak to snakes as well)

(May I remind you!)

Rule #10: The sword of Gryffindor is not Excalibur

(So stop saying I'm a female King Arthur)

(It is rather annoying)

* * *

Everyone was laughing including Snape but he was chuckling. "Let's move on." Hermione said as everyone agreed.

Done. If you have rules of your own send them. I'll be happy to use them. Review and NO FLAMES!


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two. Enjoy**

Chapter 2

Rule #11: We are not Jedi and Death Eaters are not Sith

(I'm starting to regret showing you those muggle movies)

Rule #12: You are never to handcuff me to Voldemort

(What were you thinking)

(Dumbledore)

Rule #13: Do NOT bring up the Chamber of Secrets

(Not only will Ginny have a panic attack)

(But I will cringe in pain)

(Plus I don't need Sirius and Remus to become over protective)

(They already are as is)

Rule #14: You can not throw paint bombs at Death Eaters

(Are you Serious!)

( I swear Voldemort, Dumbledore and I were confused)

(That was the one time we talked civilly)

(Don't do it again!)

(PLEASE!)

Rule #15: The Twins are not to watch cartoons

(Do you want them to get ideas?)

(They're bad as is)

Rule #16: Saying opposites attract when Voldemort and I fight isn't funny

(Twins!)

(Not only was I mentally scared but Voldemort was appalled)

Rule #17: We don't mention the rogue bludger incident. Ever

(Give Sirius and Remus heart attacks why don't you)

Rule #18: I will not fight evil in a mini skirt

(That is make believe)

(Plus Sirius would burn it maliciously)

Rule #19: We never speak of the Dursleys

(Period)

Rule #20: Don't mention Aragog

(Ever!)

* * *

Once they read them even Snape was laughing. "Ah fun times." Fred and George said together. Ron had shuddered at Aragog while Ginny had paled at the Chamber. "She's right about the mini skirt." Sirius said grinning evilly. He and Remus then turned to Dumbledore. "Why you thought handcuffing Rose to Voldemort was a good idea, I'll never know." Remus said as Sirius nodded.

Dumbledore simply chuckled as they continued.

 **Done. If there is any rule you want me to make a one shot of let me know. I will add it outside of the rules. Send rules you can think of too. I'd love to read them. Review and NO flames.**


	3. Rule 10

**Well I decided to do a one shot of one of the rules. Enjoy.**

Rule #10: The sword of Gryffindor is not Excalibur

It was a normal day at Grimmauld place. Or as normal it can get for a group of witches and wizards. Rose was reading a book about the origin of King Arthur and the great Merlin. Hermione saw her best friend was rather enjoying the book. It was very rare anyone saw Rose reading due to her life being rather hectic and dangerous.

But the peace was disrupted when Fred and George took the book from Rose.

"Hey give that back you two. I was reading that." she snapped.

"What is..." Fred started

"...this even..." George continued

"About" then they both finished at the same time.

"It's about King Arthur and Merlin." Rose said while everyone looked at the three.

"How exactly did Arthur become king?" Ron asked Hermione while she sighed.

"He pulled Excalibur from a stone. It was said only the true King of England could pull the sword from the stone. While Merlin led him to greatness." she explained as Ron, Fred and George nodded. But it the clicked.

"Wait wouldn't Rose be a female Arthur since she pulled the sword of Gryffindor from the sorting hat?" Fred asked.

Rose blinked at them as if he was crazy and Hermione shook her head at him in disbelief. Several others laughed at the question. Rose rolled her eyes getting over her stupidor. Sirius was just glad she was having fun now instead of worrying about Voldemort.

"Fred is right. Is it the same thing?" Ron asked.

"No. It isn't. The two swords are very different." Rose said finally speaking.

"Oh come on Rose. It is funny." Bill said smiling.

"So your majesty do want us to create you a crown." Fred asked laughing.

"Absolutely not! Let me make this perfectly clear. The sword of Gryffindor is not Excalibur. And it never will be." Rose snapped while a smile was on her face but they could tell she was rather serious.


	4. Chapter 4

**And here is the next set of rules. Enjoy.**

Chapter 4

Rule #21: Don't scream "The british are coming!"

(Really?)

(We're British)

(Rather redundant)

Rule #22: I will not wear a dress

(I think I broke a few Death Eaters)

(The look of Voldemort's face was worth it)

(But still)

(I won't wear one again)

Rule #23: Torturing Umbridge is not allowed

(I understand wanting to get her back)

(But for me with the blood quill)

(I appreciated it but don't do it again)

Rule #24: Calling Ginny and/or Hermione damsels in distress is hazardous for your life

(They're both very clever)

(They will either hex you or try to kill you)

(You've been warned)

Rule #25: Don't remind Tonks or Sirius they're related to Bellatrix and Narcissa

(Tonks will ignore you)

(Sirius however)

(He'll twitch violently or try to hex you)

Rule #26: There will be no reenacting scenes from movies

(Really?)

(Of all the movies it had to be the three musketeers)

(A movie with sword fights!)

Rule #27: Hermione, Ron and I can not help with battle plans

(Last time ended as a failure)

(And me kidnapped)

(Let's not have that happen again)

Rule #28: You are not to try to get any of the pets to talk

(Stay away from Hedwig, Crookshanks and Pig)

(Hedwig was not happy for a while)

(Neither was Crookshanks and Pig)

(They would speak if they wanted to)

Rule #29: Two words: Haunted House

Rule #30: We never speak of the flying car incident

(I still feel sore)

(Though it was a good thing Ron's wand snapped)

(It was really helpful that year)

* * *

Fred and George bowed with the top rule. Hermione and Ron were both laughing about a certain rule. "Oh that was a funny moment." Ron gasped. "Agreed. You-know-who looked so funny." Hermione giggled. Molly shook her head. "Why we agreed to go to that haunted house I will never know." she sighed. Sirius looked at the others. "Yeah reenacting that movie was not smart." he stated.

Snape looked at Ron and Hermione. "How is it you three can plan things on your own but with others it ends badly." he asked and they just shrugged. Ginny chuckled. "She isn't wrong there. Ok next sheet." she said picking up the next piece of paper.


	5. Chapter 5

**Here is the next chapter. Thank you for sending rules! Enjoy**

Chapter 5

Rule #31: Sirius is to stop riding a bike through headquarters wearing nothing but hot pink underwear

(I'm still having nightmares!)

Rule #32: No that's what she said jokes, period

(Are you kidding me!)

(I hear one more and I will hex you to sing nothing but Justin Bieber)

(And I'm not bluffing)

Rule #33: When it's that time of month for females (and Remus) do not touch the chocolate supplies

(You have a death wish)

(I mean that is the most deadly thing to do)

Rule #34: Don't touch my cloak

(And you know which one I am talking about)

Rule #35: The twins are never to become animagus

(That would be mass mayhem)

(Not even I have thought of that)

(And it's in my blood)

Rule #36: No is to attempt to create their own Frankenstein

(Um)

(Professor Snape what gave you that idea?)

Rule #37: No truth or dare

(What gave us that idea?)

(If anyone knows that please say)

Rule #38: My hair is not to be dyed

(To be honest I don't think it can)

(Tonks I think I'm a metamorphmagus)

Rule #39: We can not watch shows or movies with werewolves and wizards

(In a way I'm glad you guts are taking to muggle things)

(But those shows and movies are not to be watched)

(Period)

Rule #40: DO NOT HIDE MY PHOTO ALBUM!

(DON'T EVEN TRY TO!)

* * *

Everyone was once again laughing at the rules written. "The chocolate rule is to be followed. I rather not have a repeat of last time." Ron said as every male shuddered while the females grinned or laughed evilly. Sirius was snickering about the first rule of the page. "Sorry bout that but it was worth it." he stated while the others were slightly green.

Molly then looked at Severus. "Severus what were you thinking." she asked. "How was I to know it would work." he stated. "They twins were no help. They screamed 'It's alive!' when it woke." Minerva stated causing the twin terrors of Gryffindor bowed. "Let's move on before we start having a discussion about a certain rule." Remus said picking up the next piece of paper.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next chapter. Thank you Littlest1, Sakura Lisel and Dobby himself for the rules. They are really helpful. Enjoy**

Chapter 6

Rule #41: Don't call me Buffy

(I will not even bother)

Rule #42: No one is allowed to give the Weasley twins coffee

(Why?)

(Just thinking that might be a good idea ought to lead to a life sentence in Azkaban)

(And I don't even want to think about what they would do)

Rule #43: Stop tormenting Kreature with that locket of his, and making him act like Golum from Lord of the Rings.

(TWINS!)

(What was I THINKING when I let you guys have a marathon watching the ENTIRE series INCLUDING the Hobbit movies?!)

(I'll admit it was funny the first time)

(But having him wailing about his locket missing)

(Take pity on the poor guy seeing how upset he gets every time)

(I'm surprised he hasn't hexed you yet)

(Plus he asked me to put this one in)

Rule #44: We will not do the conga in battle

(Ok who's idea was it to let Fred and George come up with the battle plan?)

Rule #45: Don't even try to turn me into a cat

(First do you want Sirius and Remus to kill you)

(Second no I will not use it to spy on the Death Eaters)

(So don't even try)

Rule #46: NO horror movies

(Really?)

(Several of us kids were terrified)

(Plus I had the worst nightmares)

(They merged with the ones I already get)

Rule #47: Please don't speak in old English

(I get it was a curse)

(But I could barely understand a word anyone said)

Rule #48: Don't use people's phobias against them

(I really don't want a panic attack)

(And Ron passed out when he saw his)

(DON"T do it again)

Rule #49: Hedwig is not to be used as a test subject

(Twins if you touch my owl again)

(You two will get it)

Rule #50: Absolutely no late nights

(Last time was bad enough)

(But I don't want to have a repeat)

 **Done. I didn't add the bottom section where they all have comments. Review and no flames**


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note

Hi everyone. I'm sorry but I will be discontinuing this. It has gotten rather hard to come up with rules. I have only seen a few movies and read some parts of the Harry Potter series so I am at a lost. I will keep this fic up or anyone can adopt it. Heck numerous people can. As long as they make it different to them. They can keep what I have written or change to how they would like it.

I really hate it when I discontinue a story but I lose interest. This is the fourth fanfic I have done this to and hopefully this is the last one. PM me if you wish to continue this yourself as I said several people can adopt but the max is five maybe six. Thanks for understanding

Serenabishop97 (DivineMoonPrincessPrime)


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